Teenie, I say this with love in my heart, okay?
You seem to know what HE needs to do, right?
But have you done even one single thing of what has been suggested for YOU to do?
Have you gone to a meeting? Have you tried no contact? Have you stepped back and taken your hands off HIS recovery or lack of it?
See how hard it is to do what we "should" do.
Just like only you can decide what is right for you do do (or not do), so it is for him.
Neither one of you will do one single thing until the pain of doing nothing is greater than the pain you are each in now.
Good luck to both of you.
Hugs