Hey everyone thanks for all the responses. I realize I'm not being specific enough or explaining as much as I should.
Ideally she would be 100% sober and I would be that way around her as well. I would of course prefer that. I am not denying that she is not sober.
What I meant is that if us smoking a little pot, and going to a bar, or having drinks once a week prevents/helps her from relapsing on Oxy then I am perfectly ok with that. I don't consider getting drinks/drinking a little wine once a week to be problematic nor do I consider smoking pot a few times a week. However, I do take issue with her actions of late.
I do realize a person needs to recover by being sober in order to get used to reality in a sober state of mind. I realize how important that is. I would agree that she does not want to be, nor is she ready to be cold turkey off of everything and realize that is a bad sign.
When I said "I am going to ultimatum her." I didn't literally mean I am gonna say "quit everything now, or I am gonna bounce." I am going to tell her how I feel and ask her how she thinks her recovery is going. I am then going to tell her my concerns and ask if she feels the same way. If she asks me what I want her to do, I'm going to ask her the same question. I want her to do what she wants to do to better herself, not because I want her to. I am very careful to act that way. It's not going to better her if she doesn't do it for herself I get that.
I am playing with the hand I am dealt. I am gonna talk with her and hopefully she'll want to do this on her own and only needed a bit of a push from me. I'll let you all know what happens. I don't mean to sound defensive and truly appreciate all of your input and advice. Thank you.