DayTrader

According to AA, alcoholism is a 3-fold disease. It affects your physical body, your mentality (or your mind), and your spirit (or your soul). Sobriety is about recovering in all 3 areas. "Not drinking" treats the physical part only - the other 2/3 are still "drunk." Without recovery in all three areas, I wasn't ever able to keep from going right back to drinking.

Bear in mind, to be buzzed "felt" normal. To be able to check out of life from time to time by getting drunk, to have an "escape route" from stuff that "hurts" - that feels normal and right to an alcoholic. What you're feeling now is life withOUT the escape of alcohol....and those other two-thirds are rebelling against this new "no drinking" policy. Being dry doesn't feel right to them so they're going to start going to work on you to get you to go back to what makes them "feel normal" again.

That feeling you're in right now..... that was the one that scared me to death. I just knew I'd go back to drinking again. And I knew that if I went back to drinking I'd be getting arrested again and be heading off to jail for DUI #4 before too long OR I'd get sick and tired of living in the guilt and shame of knowing I went back to booze agaaaaaaaaain! That feeling of remorse, over and over and over and over and over and over.....it was starting to make suicide make sense. Where you are right now, THAT was the pivotal point in my recovery. I zigged my butt into AA with a whole new willingness to learn rather than zagged back to booze and my .357 magnum or prison.