Welcome, Ernie! Glad you have found us.
Rather than horror stories, sometimes it helps to be a little more positive. I especially like the thread we have going about reasons we won't drink/use today. It's kept me off drugs a couple times when I wanted to use.
I can't decide what I think causes addiction. Is it a mental disorder in itself, or a disorder brought on by some other event, or just a biochemistry issue... I have no clue. Perhaps I've always had an addictive personality and it was never a problem until I started drinking and doing drugs. Or perhaps I could have done drugs recreationally with no problem if it hadn't been for a collection of events that happened all at once and made me want to escape my life. I also don't know why I was able to quit far more easily than some of my friends, but still having a miserable time of it compared to others. But what I do know is I have to stay clean and sober. Windy's two rules come in handy here: 1) Don't do dope. 2) See #1.
However you get sober, Ernie, I wish you luck with it. Keep coming back and posting here, if it helps you.