Hello Mentallyexh,
I did things like your describing to my wife at first out of embarassment and denial. I would blame her for things I did or did not do . I would be so hung over the next day of drinking ( my wife had no clue) I could not argue or talk to her. I would just spue "crap" to "shut her up" . It is hard to look at yourself sometimes. You "crack" cuz you love him.. The night in the truck should have been a big sign to your Hubby... But I gotta be truthfull I spent the night at my work (sure I owned the building) but the issue is the same... I knew then I had issues to deal with. God Bless You... I am sending HUGS.. Please PM me if I can help