His drinking and behavior has "murdered" your marriage, and to my mind it wasn't assault or DV, when he did his chokie act....it was attempted murder of YOU.
Frankly he should be grateful he has a truck to sleep in, as he really deserves a concrete bed in a cell.
Let him know he can go do whatever he wants, you no longer care, want to know or intend helping him. He can go play in his pity pen and be the a*sehole he is somewhere else, and leave you and your kids in peace.
God bless
