From my Alanon book Courage to Change
"al-anon has shown me another way of living, and I like it.
Life can either be a burden and a chore or a challenge and a joy.
One day at a time I can meet the challenges of life head-on instead of head-down." As We Understood
Right now you are head-down with guilt and concern for your A's feelings.
He is responsible for his feelings. You are not responsible for his feelings of hurt or his feelings of joy or his feelings of pride or his feelings of depression. You didn't Cause It. You can't Control It.
You are taking steps, one day at a time, to get to a healthier place for you. You are important. Your life is important. Your needs are important.