Sesh, I just want to say that I see a lot of myself in you and your situation. I too left and then took back my XAH many a time. Even after our divorce I tried to meddle, stay in contact, and enable. I gave him 15,000 because, like you said, I felt like I didn't care if it was enabling, I couldn't turn the father of my child out on the street, and I doubted his ability to provide for himself (nevermind that he has his law degree and ALL of his professional problems can be directly traced to his alcoholism, and that even without the ability to get a professional job, he has many things going for him--a talent for cooking food, experience in waiting tables, a personable demeanor when sober--that should ensure he could at least provide for himself if he wanted to).
Now, he's pissed away almost all of the money by drinking and gambling. He's pissed his sister off so much she won't let him stay there rent free anymore like she was willing to when he left the Salvation Army. I was feeling so much anxiety worrying about this that I finally went NC a few days ago. And I do feel better. I don't know what will happen to him, but I do know that it's not my fault. I too saw him looking at death's door on many occasions. I had to take away my front row seat, because it was killing me. It still doesn't feel good, but it does feel better not being an eye-witness to the madness anymore. I know you love him. I still love mine. I always will to a certain degree. But love ain't enough to save em, and sometimes, it kills em.