I'm still here today and still sober. Heavy heavy chest cold on the eighth day now. First day I've eaten solid food in five days, been with juices and soup mainly, sleeping and coughing up a storm. Hoping this is the last day for it, really dizzy and weak but it'll get better. Was going to go to hospital but seems to be easing as the morning passes so I'll just go get some more cold medicine when the drug store opens up and rest.
The boyfriend has not tried to contact me at all, think the cops have forbiden him any put a temporary restraining order against him, which is probably for the best.
As much as I know I did the right thing, I'm disappointed and sad the way it ended. I did trully care for him deeply.
Your right about it being confusing, my emotional numbness scares me, one of those maladative life learned coping mechanisms, like thinking I know but not being sure what real love is. Is it disassociation???? Sorry I'm just rambling on now and worried that the emotional dam may burst any time.
Will try not to worry, heading to the drug store...then to bed again. Will post later on.