Hi Stayinfree!
Welcome! You are in the right place. Secular Connections is a forum for alternatives to 12-Step programs. There is a forum for
secular 12-step recovery as well. We have religious, semi-religions, and non-religious folk here, and we try to be respectful of all those viewpoints.
I'm not a mod, forum greeter or anything like that but it can be pretty quiet around here, especially on the weekends. And even more especially on weekends when the weather is nice
So... my chosen tactic for recovery was, at first, just white-knuckle through the worst of withdrawal and those first few weeks as your body and brain adjust to not being numbed by drugs or alcohol (this is tough, it took me almost 6 months to get through it and actually QUIT). I left my old friends behind, cut contact with almost everyone I knew from when I used. I changed my phone number twice. I moved to a new apartment. All these things were necessary to get rid of the people who would tempt me to go back to drugs. And even that had limited success. My old dealer drove past my apartment, recognized my car, and came up to say hello. A new girl started at work and her boyfriend cooks dope. It's easy to stay in that world, there's always someone around with drugs available. And alcohol can be even harder; it's legal, no one has to hide that they have it! Bottom line is I had to find for myself a reason not to use. And once I found that reason and started to regain my self respect, it became very easy to say no. It was no easy battle and there was a lot of stuff I had to get over, learn to forgive myself and other people, and leave the past in the past.
That's the short version. Look around, post, and stick around if it helps you. Good luck with your recovery!