Being a person who has led a book group on this topic, I think there are a few points to make. First of all, there is nothing that says we shouldn't seek support - in fact we need it. Second, we are supposed to use support to move forward - not stay stuck in defining ourselves in the wounding. Third, the support should be moving us away from the support group's immediate focus onto perhaps the next place in our path. That would mean a lessening of involvement in the topical support group and increasing involvement in a new group or place that is healthy. One option when remaining with the topical support group is to give back to others and help them through.
I think the stages we go through might look like this: One- I need to know how to survive and overcome this wound. Two-understand how it has changed you, what else has changed in your life. Three -make needed adjustments in your life as a result of what you learn. Three - learn what tools will help me maintain that position. Four- prepare to move on to the next phase of our lives. Five - moving into that next stage and keeping what you need to sustain those changes and letting go of the things no longer need.
For example, yesterday presented me with an old challenge and my response was different after being here. Through out the day I noticed how well I was functioning beyond the wound level. I was able to recall how I would have responded last year but didn' t b/c I have grown. So my need for support has gone from intensive to occassional so far. I actually posted how well I responded vs the need to know how to respond.