10 Days, hope and terror!
Hi folks. I am on Day 10 here and want to give an update on how I'm feeling in case anyone is reading this board, thinking about quitting, and might benefit from reading about what can happen in 10 days, sobertime.
As far as how I've been feeling on the negative side the past ten days, I'll have to say it hasn't been easy. I've had headaches, my digestive system is still messed up, and I've been sleeping TONS but having nightmares and anxiety spells in the middle of the night (not nearly as bad as those during drinking, but still present.) I've also struggled with intimacy, and been very irritable at times. I've felt left out and scared, and I'm terrified about coming social obstacles, *especially* the extended time I will spend next month with my family (all drinkers). (I'm sure I'll be posting more about that.)
On the PLUS side, though, there is far more to be happy about. I wake each day feeling more energy. No horrid hangovers, no wondering why I'm putting myself in dangerous situations and destroying my body. I have not had a crazy, senseless argument. My emotions, on the whole, are much much more tempered; negative feelings pass without the urge to ruminate. I am able to battle my internal critic more effectively. I have found fun ways to occupy my time, and I'm certain I would not have done so many fun things had I been hungover or just going to a bar and being drunk (and annoyed with it and the people around me, as I've often been, or annoyed with trying to pace myself). Though I have seen fewer people, genuine friends have showed me love and support. I have also lost a few pounds! I am able to do my work more quickly and efficiently, and be a better teacher and doggy owner. I've gotten tons of blissful exercise and enjoyed the great outdoors.
My boyfriend drank for the first time today (he'd been abstaining to support me, but has no addiction) and this has been hard, knowing he was at the bar with the usual crowd. I am feeling 90% sure I want to try a meeting later this week. Although I do have some people supporting me, and a wonderful counselor, I see why it would be good to have other people in my life who completely abstain. I am very grateful to all of you on this board -- you have helped make this 10 days possible. Thank you.