Welcome Hal! I hope you feel better for having said those things - I had no one in my life I could talk to honestly, until I came here. Everyone at SR understood what I was going through, and had been there themselves - so I had great advice and was able to get well. I was no longer alone. I fell back on alcohol my whole life - for comfort and entertainment. I convinced myself I needed it to live and be happy. It was a lie.
I'm sure the people in your life who truly care for you will support your decision to stop. Maybe some of them don't realize how dangerous it's becoming for you. For me, I didn't have to stop seeing old friends - I just decided I would tell them I had become too dependent on alcohol and could no longer play with fire. No one tried to talk me into picking up again, once they realized I was dead serious about banishing it from my life.
I hope you'll stay with us and let us know how it's going for you. We care.