New here.
Hello everyone,
I've never joined a sobriety forum before but I think this is a really special place. - I'm not exactly sure where to start here either, it's only been a couple days since I've came to terms with wanting to live a clean life.
Alcohol and me, I started drinking when I was sixteen, and I did the typical teenager stuff. A couple of times I would drink myself sick the next day, but being underage, drinking was a once in awhile sort of thing (I was kind of a nerdy shut in, I didn't go out and party too often...)
Years went by, everything was in moderation at that time except pot, I had loads of Marijuana all of the time and I loved smoking it. I've been a big pothead since I was sixteen years old. Marijuana never felt like a problem until I grew up a bit, I had taken a year off of it at one time, and then a half a year another time. But somehow it would always find its way back into my life.
Age twenty one, "the big day", I had went out and purchased a bottle of rum and coke, had a drink that night since I had to work on my birthday(pfffft). The hard alcohol got put aside, however beer became my vice. Stopping on the way home every other night for a six pack of tallboys, escalated into nearly every night. Escalated into two six packs of tallboys(sixteen, twelve ounce beers) every once in awhile - till it got to the point at least one night a week I was really binge drinking.(And on Natural Ice too, that stuff is toxic!)
It's been like that since then(Although I did have a falling out with Natural Ice), I cant think of one week I haven't gone without a sixer of cold beer.
I turned twenty three two weeks ago and I had made a pact to stop everything that's detrimental to me by the end of the month. Which has included I've learned that I must refrain visiting a certain friend who's house has become kind of a pot-stop for me. I cannot have marijuana in my own household so I took refuge on my time off over there playing video games and getting zombified.
Marijuana hasn't been an issue quitting as my love interest isn't fond of it. I've had to hide it from him in the past. Lately there's just been more and more guilt built up about it and it had just stopped being fun. For once in my life I feel like I'm content with not smoking marijuana. - But Alcohol on the other hand...
I've changed my diet dramatically, started exercising profusely. Last Friday I decided to start my venture into my clean life. I had made it three days off drinking, that's sort of a small record for me, but yesterday I just had to have a six pack. By the end of the night there were six empty Coors Light cans in my trash and I just felt completely down in the dumps for cutting off my pact three days in.
I like to write sometimes, and the only thing I wrote last night was "This isn't even fun anymore."
I do have a supportive boyfriend thankfully, and last night when I was whining about how I didn't stay true to myself he had come with the idea that he would give up drinking for now to help me over these hurdles to come.
I guess that's my long winded story.
That's why I've came here and finally decided to join. For support to make it through these cravings, and whatever support I can offer to anyone else.