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Old 04-27-2010, 01:59 AM
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barb dwyer
same planet...different world
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Hi Tips-

So unfortunately I have relapsed back and had an event on the weekend that led me to binge drink quite heavily and ruin another day due to my actions, leaving me quite alone, anxious and highly depressed.

Welcome back! Not everyone makes it back.

I was totally sober for close to 60days or so, not touching a drop of alcohol, and when I thought I had a handle on it, I started to introduce a few drinks with dinner or a couple when out with friends for social occasions.

You're not the first. Only beat yourself up engouh to try harder or another method in order not to do it again. you've been given a great opportunity by being allowed to try again.

I managed to control my blow-outs and black-outs up until this weekend; thanks to help with my counselling sessions which were regular at the start of my journey, but slightly began to ease out as I felt I was capable to handle my addiction alone.

I can tell you without even knowing anyone in your circle that ... you weren't fooling anyone. We always think we're hiding it.I have this saying thing : "When we drink, we think nobody cares or can see us. Then when we get sober - we think everyone's watching... both assumptions are wrong.

I guess I don't consider myself an alcoholic, but understand I have a problem with drinking. I have at times dabbled in drugs, but was able to quit both smoking and any illicit intake, only alcohol remains as my last bad vice. I have been in touch with a group of very close friends, letting them know that I feel I have a problem, and the response from them has been very supportive which makes me feel like this could be the time for me to give it all away.

The first sentence of that gave me a little chuckle.
It's like saying, "I know I'm not pregnant - I practice the rythm method".

I'm very confused, shocked and disorientated that this could actually be a problem for me. I'm quite successful in every other aspect of my life, but feel as though these binge nights may be the end of me. I have started having physical reactions to the abuse also.

We all were. People don't come to Soberrecovery because their lives are going great. Not in the beginning, anyhow.

I've done some research on when the next AA meeting would be local to me, but feel as though I should not attend as I don't want to offend people who are heavily more addicted than I am.......

I am comfortable intelling you that we,as alcoholics in the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous NEED new people order for US to stay sober. So you COULD let that 'trick' yourself into approaching the situation for the perspective that .... you cannot continue to deny US the chance not to drink today.... by letting us help YOU do the same. I know that's tough to grasp at first... but it is true.

I should never have stopped reading this forum.

Well, then - another way to look at that one as well is - a mistake ceases to be a mistake the moment we learn from it. It changes into a teaching.

Welcome back, hon.
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