Humble, we have all been through this...over and over, in my case. Like you, I felt a "click" the last time I drank. Why is it that we have such a hard time accepting that alcohol is toxic for us and not others? Because it's everywhere? Because it gives us something (acceptance, relaxation,etc)? Were we diabetic, we would have no issue altering our diet. Because of the "obsession", I guess.
I don't know whether you attend AA...but even going to meetings didn't keep me sober. But, having a sponsor (accountability) and doing the Steps illuminated why I wanted to drink in the first place. And that made all the difference in the world. Once I could identify the feeling behind a "impulse" (usually fear), I was able to deal with it without drinking. Kind of took the boogey man out from underneath the bed.
That being said, if this were easy, none of us would be here! So jump back into it...we'll wait for you.