Relapse can be a growing experience. It all depends on what you do with it.
Originally Posted by
humblestudent 
But I will say that I truly know...really truly know now that I just cannot drink, period.
This is key. In my experience, knowing this was required, but not sufficient, to stay sober. In the 'Bill's Story' chapter of AA's Big Book, when he gets to this point of knowing he could never safely drink at all, that's when things got 'gradually worse'. Quite an understatement. Despite knowing this fact for himself, he wound up in the hospital (detox/treatment) a few times after this. He needed something more than knowledge and willpower. Like Bill, I too needed to something transformative to manage my decision to stay sober. Otherwise, I was doomed to keep picking up a drink after some time had passed. I found that transformation through the 12 Steps.
Originally Posted by AA BB, 1st Ed.
After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.