Here I am again moaning about ANOTHER relapse...managed to go for 6 weeks without drinking feeling SO much better but stopped going to AA meetings as told myself that i was too tired after work etc etc (any excuse would do) drinking thinking started to creep back a week before that drank bottle of vino last week then went to a Wake last night (ironically of an alcoholic).
Told myself that I could control it!!! noooo way I drank and drank couldnt stop.... then went back to friend's place and drank all the whisky in his house.
OMG feel disgusting this morning and have lost another day with hangover and it will take me now days to recover from this setback.
I feel strangely calm though as I KNOW i HAVE A DISEASE as i truly wanted to control it but just cant! it is progressive...drinking more and more.
I have another problem though I AM INFECTED WITH THE DISEASE TO PLEASE
going to Vegas next month in such early sobriety
my drinking friend suggested that on expensive wine itwont make me sick so why dont I drink that with her?Its so hard shame will not allow me to admit to my friends that a have not ONLY been a social fun drinker but also a lone drinker as well...how do i get around the vegas dilema?