I used to feel absolutely dreadful, i mean wtf was wrong with me...i had a great job, a lovely home, a successful career and couldn't even control drinking!
Once i accepted that i was an alcoholic and stopped fighting the concept that it was a disease (mental and physicla illness if you like) i was able to treat it like any other problem, got a legal problem ask a lawyer, need to buy a house ask a real estate broker, want to open a business ask a successful businessman...want to stay sober long term ask someone who has successfully stayed sober long term...
Treat it like you would do anything else, go and find someone who has the answer and follow their advice...clearly this is not something that you can do by yourself as you have tried...like my examples, you want to draw up the plans for a house, unless you have some formal training you would get the help of an architect for the plans at the very least and even if you were a builder someone would have to do the electrics, plumbing etc...
Who knows you might come even decide that the person you ask knows more than you and you just let them get on with directing the project and you take the back seat and follow their lead...get some help there is loads out there for you:-)