So the weekend has been filled with him bounding back and forth from going to detox to saying he can detox himself. I just listen and not make any comments, of course in my head I am screaming – well if you could detox yourself then why haven't you been able to. Then he plays the old tapes of getting on suboxone and actually using it the correct way instead of taking it along with the pain pills. Again I want to scream, you couldn't do that before either, what's going to be so different this time.
His getting into detox has been approved by his insurance but the facility wants current blood work regarding his lithium levels. He got a scrip from his doctor for that blood work on Friday night, yet couldn't wake up on Saturday morning to go have it done. So his addicted brain is putting it off until Monday and today he is working hard on scamming more pills from his friend the PA at the pain management center.
Guess he's not ready to surrender yet, at least not right now because he's on his way to get more pills. Now, all that could change by this afternoon, then change again by tonight. Tomorrow is a long way away and I have no expectations that tomorrow will be any different then today with the exception of me. I plan on getting up and going to work and taking care of my responsibilities, if he does decide to go to detox he'll get himself there.
Today I am going out shopping and working hard keeping the focus off his addiction.........
Thanks for listening cynical one, I need reassurance these days, lots of reassurance.....