Stayin, sometimes I think I have a lot of nerve encouraging someone to go to a meeting when I myself have not been doing that. So I understand if you don't think you could make a go of it by sticking with the meetings. If you are openminded about how to achieve the changes you need, that is a good start to me. I am sure some of the big proponents of AA used to be very skeptical (to put it lightly) about that approach, and they turned around when something clicked for them. I have met people in person before who fit that description. Ideas and approaches intermingle, so I am convinced we take and benefit from pieces of AA whether we physically go to the meetings or not. By signing in here I snuff out the thought that creep in, if not just to check in, etc. Hope you will keep looking at what you need.