Hi CR79
Quite simply I think maybe you need to reach out. Take a few of those risks.
You've got the not drinking bit down, now perhaps it's time to work on the other stuff, the filling of that void, the stuff that will keep sober.
It can start by posting here, although I think if AA is an idea in your head it would be good to try that on for size too.
Successful recovery's about change. There's no way around that really IMO.
But you're not alone - you'll find a look of help here
Welcome!
D