Hi all, new here obviously...lurked for sometime and I will say your forum is kindof comforting.Triggersome at times, but nice.
Im not sure what I;m trying to accomplish posting this, just wanting to be known I guess.
So I quit drinking last December. I'm 30 and I have been drinking 12-15 beers every day since I was about 25, a little less before that going back to 21.
I also had an extensive pot smoking career, which I finally wised up and dumped only a few weeks ago, and I have also managed to get an on and off opiate painkiller addiction going, which I have also abandoned in the last few weeks.
...all of this without any real recovery program...As you can imagine my interior life has been a real shambles in the last four months (of course it was pretty ragged before that as well
).
So now I am finally a bit less miserable, I think I am starting to have some of this stuff worked out mentally. My problem is that I dont really have any kind of social/voluntary life going on at the moment....I guess the only thing that helped me stay sober is my shear capacity for boredom. That and horribly abusing cigarettes, coffee, and teh internets.
I sometimes feel like I need AA and i get serious about going but never quite make it...scaredeecat I guess. Dont wanna do the steps. Dont wanna take risks.
To sum it all up, I totally dont have life right and it sucks. Everything in my old life was alcohol related and thats all gone now. Ive always been pretty lazy but now its really bad and I have a lot of things I need to do for myself that I am feeling absolutely no motivation for... I need to get in shape, I need to get some friends, I need to rebuild my memory and intellectual skills. Basically I need to be something that resembles a normal human being who does stuff and knows people and isn't totally wasting their life....
But how do you do that?