Wash, sometimes I sign in here when I get that 5pm feeling (or Fri night, whatever you want to call it - that memory of cutting loose with the drinking). Other people say they do that too. I think it's all in watching how your mind works, and it sounds like you are doing that. That was a good idea to get that friend to meet up with you. You can create some devices to manipulate yourself into not giving in and build confidence in your skills at "babysitting yourself." I live alone and have to babysit myself too. Think of it this way, I am one example (of many) of an alcohol addict who had only himself to answer to and drank in private for years, and now the same person is not doing that. I had NO IDEA I could do it. You can do that too, it just takes getting it in the right gear. Don't be afraid to admit to any mistakes or fears or (on the positive end) to report on what you are proud of if you find yourself coming back into this site. People will be there to talk about it!