Hi wendy!! I haven't read through all the responses but I read through all of your posts. I see you've been to AA but have you worked the steps with a sponsor, or at least given it a try? I used to think they were a bunch of hooey, but today I'm a big fan of them. I encourage the newcomers to give it a try.
And just another thought, I don't know if you have health insurance, but have you talked to any rehab centers?
You seem like you're there and you're ready, I think there's just something that you're missing that I know you'll find once you "get there", where ever that is for you.
On the other side, welcome to SR!!!! I love this site, great support and experience here. I wish you the best on your journey.
