Originally Posted by
SomeoneSomwhere 
I'm not going to get better until I realize that I'm hurting myself. I'm not going to get better until I decide I want to. So why can't I? Why am I risking throwing my whole life away?
Because alcohol is more powerful than we are. It is the disease telling you that YOU are in control. It really is a VERY ugly disease. Maybe just go to an AA meeting and see if you can relate to them? What do you have to lose? All to gain in my opinion. If you enjoyed alcohol so much and were in control, you would not be here looking for answers. Best of luck.
