Man this will always be a tough matter for me because I love to cook and I have been fortunate to have been to some of the best restaurants in the world. I used to feel that a great Cabernet or Pinot was an equal player to high quality food. Fortunately, reality set in and I have been sober for seven years.
I second the pelegrino or a sparkling water with lemon or lime idea, or maybe a flavored ice tea.
To me, these of course are issues related to the underlying disease: Alcoholism.
As you know, it is a very tough road to take without support and I feel that AA meetings are less about authority and religion and more about support and sharing life experiences with fellow alcoholics/addicts. It is kind of a tough call concerning anonymity but AA may be worth a try. It would also help if your boyfriend abstained from alcohol at least for a couple of months. It was hard for me early in my sobriety to see my wife have wine.
Good luck and keep cooking (without the wine!)
Dave