I started picturing a little drunk on my shoulder spewing those lies, oh how badly he wanted to convince me after X amount of days not drinking, I could have one or two to wind down.
I would picture him so I could laugh at him, call him a liar, then banish him.
It is not one or two I miss, it is the oblivion. To be free from my fears, angers, shames and loneliness, if only for a brief time.
I don't want to be oblivious ever again. I don't want alcohol to ever again have control. So I do what ever it takes to make it through each day sober as it comes.