Just as the alcoholic has turned to booze repeatedly to cope with pain and emotional strife, so we codies will try to focus on the A....
Amen, Bernadette! So very right. My "drug" has ALWAYS been the man in my life.
To escape from my own "stuff" ?? It never
feels like that's what I'm doing. But there must be truth in it, since I've heard it so many times.
To elevate my status as "the good one", "the higher functioning one", "the better-than-you" one. Ooh, ouch. Maybe.
This is what I'm experiencing. (I can't even believe it)
I am starting to
very slowly stop wanting to run to him, to be with him in the night (that one's harder), and to "help" him when he's having an issue. I have gone from "I have never loved any man as strongly as I love you" (still true) and "I will miss you every day for the rest of my life" to being able to visualize a future that I don't.
It's scary and encouraging both. The loyalty to him, to the notion of us being so right for each other, is strong.
But you'll get there, Mis. Right now, this is THE MOST INTENSE PART. One day, one moment at a time, one foot in front of the other. Humans always want to escape pain. It's painful!! But it DOESN'T last.
Peace,