Update on progress
Hey everyone, checking in. I'm on the 19th day and doing pretty good.
It's kind of fun to discover the person that I truly am, again. I am facing my emotions and thoughts and I am trying to question them when they are taking me to an unfomfortable place. I like Katie Byron's ideas about this (although I don't think you can apply this to major traumas) in the book “I need your love, is this true?”.
Because life is hectic I have to make an effort to work on my progress and cut out bits and pieces of time to dedicate to recovery. Last night I couldn't sleep because my cold was keeping me up, so I read a little in the AA literature “we came to believe”. One of the testimonies said that, "when drinking there was only the past and the future", not in my case though. When I was drinking I couldn't care less about tomorrow. I drank to not worry about the future and the nights would never last long enough.
My HP in this stage is SR and the force that is keeping an invisible veil between me and the possibility of drinking and also my dear friend J. When I walked in a meeting a few years ago, he was sitting there and I was horrified at first, oohh noooo this man has known me since I was a kid!! That feeling soon lifted and after we both got over our surprise, gratitude replaced it. He died a sober man and I know he's looking down on me and cheering me on, I thank him every night.
This weekend is going to be a challenge I think, even though I'm not feeling panicked about it right now. There's a different feeling involved than what I had before, it is like I want it more this time around.
Cheers to a sober day everyone!