DMKK - I like you. It's obviously because you say the right things that I want to hear. I respect others comments just as much too. Thank you for saying that as reading it just rings true and I do believe that is exactly what is going on. I just have to keep the mind busier I guess. I have to be patient with time also, and should not accept things to be easy and to "let go" overnight.
I cherish those good times and believe you are correct. I am super-duper proud of the man I was to her and her kids. I did have faults too, trust me. But, I admitted them and was eager to work on them.
Last night at Al Anon I was like in awe of where I was going and what doors were opening in my life. I'm here and there is no turning back, I want to learn more about this disease, but also improve myself to care better for me. There were times early in the relationship where I had every right to say, "no" and get up walk out and drive home. I was too afraid too because it would cause strain, or make her break up with me. That is a huge mistake and I learned a hard lesson on self respect.