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Old 04-20-2010, 08:24 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
kittykitty
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: carolina girl
Posts: 578
So thats what that feeling is in my chest, when my AXBF shows up at my house... a panic attack. I know how you feel mishaco. What a horrible feeling. I can't even think straight when that happens to me, my head feels like it's going to explode.

I take deep breaths and repeat the serenity prayer over and over. That helps me.

My ex couldn't afford to give me $20 a month for the cable bill, but had no problem spending $40 every couple of weeks for a bag of pot, or drinking Jim Beam over the weekends at bars. I feel so stupid when I look back at it now, what the heck was I thinking, making excuses for why this was okay??

But I learned from all of it, as you are now. These experiences with him will shape the rest of your life, helping you to realize what is and what isn't acceptable for you. I'm really holding tight to the idea that all of these lessons I learned from the mistakes I made with the man will lead me toward healthy relationships in my future. Now I know what i do and do not deserve. And indirectly, I have him to thank for that.

Stay strong, take care, and keep riding that board!!!
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