Thread: Some progress
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Old 04-20-2010, 05:53 PM
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lulu1974
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Reality, NJ
Posts: 853
Some progress

tomorrow I have an interview for a job 15 mins from my house. Its less money but its much less stressful and I feel I can really focus on school and accomplish my goals. My HP brought this on and I really hope I get it.
I feel my life is finally changing. I cried a little today
But then I thought about being able to go out dancing again..
Joining the gym and meeting some people in my area...
I am so grateful to God that sooo many of my physical symptoms have gone away since I took a break from him and my stressful job. I dont feel like a walking defect anymore..
I feel hope again.
When he wished me dead earlier, I wanted to say to him...yes after being married to you I have wished myself dead at times too.
But I dont want to feel that way..
Its funny but I watched this show Kendra and she is a former Playboy girl. I have never enjoyed reality shows and she was loud and funny and living her life and it made me giggle because everyone should live out loud. Well I want too at least.
I will plant flowers soon..the first time ever in my home. Its my way of signifyning my growth. And a tree where I will scatter the ashes of my wedding photos one day. My wedding dress will go to good will.
So I actually feel for once I can make it. Not only make it but have a great life.
Alcoholism is a dreadful disease..My heart is with all those suffering or have suffered. Not many talk about the effects of it in the outside world but if they only knew. I wish we had something like AA does where when we make progress we get a hershey kiss or something.

Hugs to all of you for getting me through a hard time. The hardest time of my life..
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