Old 04-20-2010, 08:44 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
HumbleBee
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When I first got sober, my oldest and best friend did the same thing as yours. Came to understand later that our friendship was like a security blanket to her and she was afraid of any change in me, afraid that I wouldn't need her anymore, but she was too full of pride to say so.

'Getting sober' conjures up alot of misconceptions, unfortunately some include boring, finding God, righteous, holier than thou, etc. - my friend assumed I would become any or all of these so was less than enthusiastic about my recovery, which is a polite way of saying she was terrified of any change in our friendship that she had come to rely on for so long.

I think real friendship is based on trust and honesty, which is a polar opposite definition of an alcoholic. Nonetheless, as we become honest with ourselves, we can be honest with those people who we love.

I had a poignant discussion with my friend. We put it out in the open how each of us felt, without blaming or flaming. This helped maintain the connection, but it was just a matter of time and both of us changing and growing in different directions that separated us as individuals, but never as friends, just friends in a different way.

We still love and respect each other for all that we had been through together - it's just that people, things and life change. We didn't eliminate each other from our lives and I'm totally ok with that.
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