...It's just one of them days, SR friends.
I'm super down and very blue today, at the prospect of continuing to have AH in my life, and in DD's life. In the past few days, I let myself get carried away with the wish that he would just disappear from our lives, so that DD wouldn't have to grow up to be an ACOA, so that I wouldn't have to coparent with this..."man", but I know that in all likelihood, he will stick around because he's too lazy to move back to Ontario. Unless *someone*--as in his next enabler, organizes and funds the move for him, he'll be staying here in Quebec, complaining for all he's worth, poisoning our lives as much as possible. I'd like to be positive and believe that he'll change and become the father DD deserves, but I also know that wishful thinking is useless and detrimental. Life is what it is.
Normally, I'd just be going with the flow, reminding myself that it's all in HP's hands and that I'm just here to learn. This morning though, after several months of struggling with migraine after migraine, trying all kinds of different medications, chiro treatments, change in my diet, change in my sleep schedule, relaxation, naturopathy and finding that once again, I'm battling another migraine, I'm just. so. tired. I don't know if the pain is attributable to the stress I'm dealing with regard AH, the change in season, the return of my period or WHAT, but I can honestly say that today, I need a hug because I can't stop tearing up.
