Originally Posted by
wendyjane40 
...Then I just decided I didn't want to be sober anymore,
... I just don't understand why I do this to myself. I made a commitment to myself to quit drinking and was very happy for the 6 months that I was sober. Now I'm miserable and living with guilt on a daily basis. I am ready to give it up again, but I am wondering how common it is to relapse and how people get past it. I know what alcohol does to me and I don't like it, so why is it so hard for me to stay sober? It seems as though it should be so simple..
If you have the same ISM as I have, then;
1. You never "decided" you didn't want to stay sober.
2. No amount of "commitment" can stop you from drinking.
3. You really don't know "why' it is so hard to stay sober.
These riddles are the result of crossing the line of the ISM part of alcoholism where decisions, choice and synthetic knowledge are extraneous issues.
What you need is to find a higher power than what self-reliance or human-aid can offer you.