I have done my fair share of worrying, and then some, over my family, my health, friends, country, and the A's in my life......and finally worked out that it didn't do a thing for the object of my worry. It just stressed me out, gave me angina, headaches, wrinkles and grey hairs.
I care deeply, love a lot, but hand worries over to God....He made them, He can fix them.
At times there are folks here on F & F, who are in danger or scared stiff of someone, and I care a great deal for them and their safety, but my worrying all night will not help them, just upset me. I think of and care for many in SR, and I hand them to God, and keep on praying, because I can do nothing else....I am not able to save someone from attack in Atlanta, New Jersey, Mexico City, London, or Sydney because I am in North Queensland.....I have to hope and pray they called 999 and got help.
I do not worry over RABF as I used to...is he drinking, will he turn up at my place, will he do this or that....Yeesh what a waste of time and energy for me.
Last time he drank, he did come to my place, and I asked him to leave...he didn't...so I called police and they removed him. I went to bed and slept, after praying and unplugging phone.
Time before when he did that, I had been awake worried and imagining all sorts of things, spent hours asking him to leave and got no darn sleep.
Caring about and loving people isn't co-dependent, and worrying about kids and loved ones at times, is perfectly normal....ask any mum or granny.
It is when worry becomes obsessive, constant checking up on, spending YOUR life being immersed in someone elses totally, that I would call it co-dependent.
When you can't tell where their life ends and yours begins, and there is little to no space between....where every conversation revolves around that other person....that is my idea of co-dependent.
God bless