Finishing day 6
All in all had a good day. Family baptism went very nice. There was some wine there but was with wife and kids. No urges to drink. Would not have went if I was by myself. Had a little one on one time with God while I was in Church.
The guilt and shame have eased a lot since I first joined. Felt really good to talk to wife and sponsor. The last couple of meetings that I went to (11:45pm late night) there were only 4 persons there including me. Had some good my time with the others, very helpful and supportive persons.
I however have been feeling really down, depressed and tired. I do not recall feeling like this from past experiences. I do take 20mg's of celexa a night.
I am hoping I can make a doctors appointment if this does not pass in a few nights.
I hope this is just a short phase with the depression. Just want to get that extra bounce back in my step like I had during my time of previous sobriety.
Been reviewing my past relapse and I put my will and desires before Gods will. I made a decisions which I knew was wrong and now I have to learn from it. Ask God for more help and direction, and to give those desire that I have over to God so that I do not act on them.
Have more to write but the kids are calling.
I hope that everyone has a good night and day tomorrow.
Dean