If you love kids why not volunteer in some children-dedicated organization?
tpen I get how it feels.
Kitty, I also get how it feels.
Its like you imagined everything and nothing happened for them, as if they never met you.
But its also true, it comes a time when its about who accepts booze and all the behaviors that come with it -or who accepts cheating, etc) and who doesn't.
Mourning sucks but you're already getting out there and enjoying moments, it took me MONTHS to do that so you're doing good!!
Also if you don't mind, I read some sentences that I believe are not yours but your ego's.
Proving they are faulty
Proving they are lying
Proving they are alcoholics
I mean I almost went insane trying to know if anyone else considered XABF an alkie! that would validate my suspicions! that would validate my leaving! that would validate I had some worth! then I spent a lot of time trying to assume or know XABF was probably miserable! that it was all a show! that his happiness is not real! that would leave some happiness or joy for me to take.
Wrong again. Its all the voice of the ego...
Only God can judge them.
Only God knows why everything happens as it happens. Your job is to learn the lessons and avoid more suffering. To bring peace to this world by not exercising violence against yourself.
She can do whatever she wants and she will do it anyway. She is not yours.
AND
You do not belong to her either. You don't belong to anyone. You are free..
BTW if she was cheating did u go for a checkup for STDs/HIV? just a practical suggestion.
It will pass, and I hope you stop peeking soon!! i did that a lot until I cried sooooo much for a full afternoon and after MONTHS of dragging my feet while he was going to the beach with GF, traveling, etc that I finally got enough.........
After sadness and seeking contact desperately , Master Anger will come and everything will be much easier then.......... well that is what happened to me anyway.
Once I was able to get angry WITH MYSELF for believing comments designed to hurt and that are untrue, and putting up with many other things, I knew I was on the other side!!!! and believe me if I could reach that point you can, too and I'm sure you will and you'll heal.
Read Melody Beattie.
Be honest with yourself. Is it the first time you choose someone emotionally unavailable? in which other moments in your life did you feel the same way? after thinking this I was no longer able to feel like the victim of the story... at least I felt entitled to be offended and conveniently forgot my attraction to: MUSHROOM-LOVING and drug user ex, the one who was more like a Dad Figure, the supergeek type no one could get but I *HAD* to get, the super rich guy who was very very immature, the one with a GF already, the one with a WIFE already, the one who lived away............ wow!! all EXCELLENT choices TC999!! add "the early stage alcoholic that came by stumbling drunk asking for sex and when we tried he felt asleep and couldn't, months later when angry he said I abused him because he was almost passing out" and well it seemed to me there was a familiar pattern.. duhhh!!
Hang in there. NO CONTACT..NO PEEKING..
