Hi I'm New :)
Hi everyone!
Something possessed me to look up alcoholic message boards. I looked at a few, and something about this board really appealed to me.
I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic, but I'm willing to accept the possibility. Guess, that's a really small first step lol. I've read some of the postings here, and they further my opinion that alcoholics in recovery are some of the strongest, most honest people out there.
I've had some experience with alcoholism. I had a girlfriend that was an alcoholic (but sober). I never drank when we were together, which was for about a year. During that time, I gained an appreciation for the reflection, honesty, and hard work of recovering alcoholics; it's truly admirable. That relationship ended in disaster and I began drinking heavily (starting in the early morning).
Neither of my parents drink, but 3 out of 4 of my grandparents were heavy, heavy drinkers. I heard the gene skips a generation, in which case I'm way up crap's creek.
I had to leave my girlfriend of 2 years due to infidelity. I have been unbelievably depressed, and I drink because it makes me feel better.
It's difficult for me to change, because I am so functional right now (professionally). My career is going great, and I've been admitted to a masters program at the London School of Economics next year. But deep down, I know that I'm using academic and professional perfection to counterbalance personal flaws.
By 9:00 a.m., I'm a six pack deep, have a few glasses of wine at lunch, then have around a half dozen scotches when I get home. I usually wake up around 5:00 a.m. and feel guilty because I know that I could have accomplished more the previous day if I didn't drink. It's really really unhealthy, I know. And that's why I'm here. I can't say that I'm ready to stop, but I am ready to listen and to stop being hardheaded.
Anyway, thanks for reading my long post! I look forward to meeting everyone!