Originally Posted by
naive 
hi mischa-
i remember being so worn out and confused i couldn't even think straight anymore.
i'm here to share that it gets better. i understand that you are exhausted.
what helped me was to open my mouth and start talking about what was going on. tell the people that love you that you need help and then accept it.
be gentle with yourself. rest if you are tired. take a few vacation days if you can and perhaps go stay with someone who loves you. at my worst, i went and stayed with my mother for 5 weeks just to get my head on straight. i used that time to rest, post here, and put together a plan for my exit.
naive
((HUGS)) I am SO exhausted, SO confused, I don't think straight, half of the time I don't even think my brain is functioning.
I have been subpoenaed to testify against him May 17th and then I booked a ticket to Vegas on May 31st (with the help of my awesome friends getting me a room and splitting the ticket...so grateful for them). I have NEVER made plans months in advance. Always worried about what was going to happen with me or him or money. Awww... Exhausting. I'm exhausted.
Thank you for your suggestions. I think I will start telling everyone I know and love about what is going on and stop lying about it. I think that may be my first step to recovery.
Sleep well!