Amen, Sister! Yes, it is a long road, but a road worth taking. On this road you will learn that you, Misha, are more precious than gold, and anyone who doesn't get that can just get out of your way! You deserve to be treated lovingly and gently, and honored--and first you have to treat yourself that way.
You are not alone on this road, Misha, so many have come before, and many of us are on the same road with you. The destination is worth it, I'm told, and I believe it!
One foot in front of the other, praying for you tonight. You can do this--I can hear it in your post. Sleep well.