Originally Posted by
getr345 
I think you are correct, but that this is where misunderstanding begins for MANY people on both sides of the bottle and on both sides of the problem.
Can you help me to understand the key differences between the two and the characteristics of both?
And can a heavy drinker become an alcoholic just from heavy drinking or is "alcoholic" something you simply ARE and something that you can never actually become, like for example; a heavy drinker?
Seems anyone can become that and many do...
I do need some comments on this one.
I used to have a mate who was a heavy drinker, we drank the same amount and he would go to bed (NB this is 9 years ago, the frequency got worse). The following morning he would be up at 7am cooking breakfast for the kids and i would be shivering under the duvet, feeling like death and emotionally shot to bits, anxiety, regret, fear, sadness the lot... and absolutely adament that i would not drink again ever. So i would stay at home, not go out to social occasions and feel better after a week or so and venture out again and do exactly the same thing, whetver the occasion and i would leave the house saying i wont drink tonight and would end up drunk.
IMO i think the big difference between alcoholic and heavy drinker is how the booze affects you...an example...
Lady i know, very wealthy and sober for 10 years now, used to drink once every couple of months...she always drank very expensive wine as it made her feel like the drink was then worth it...she would always drink more than she wanted to on the night and then regret it the next day but it doesnt stop there...
Her pattern was get drunk then spend the next 2 months doing the following:
Working every hour God sends
Going to the gym at least 4 times a week
Eating healthy
Staying away from social occasions
All the above sound like very good things to do and they are but the reason she did all the above was not to better her life but because of the guilt and fear from the last drunk. The guilt saying she should be making up for that drunk night and the fear saying that if you work, exercise, stay away you can protect yourself from the next drunk. This is not normal behaviour and no heavy drinkers i have ever known behaved like this...
So, for me and this is just my ESH, the line is not quantifiable by a drink, like i wonder which drink it was in the last 20 years that i crossed the line with? I crossed the line when i tried to control it and/or stop and was unable to...and that was in my late teens, early twenties...i just didnt realise it at the time...