getr... great question
IDK, I think each person's experience is just that, their experience. I hear many people say they were alcoholic at birth, or that they were alcoholic the first time they drank. That's not my experience. I always liked the buzz, always.... I don't think that's what makes me alcoholic, although I may have been considered a heavy drinker by many for years.
My experience with alcoholism points to the time I reached for a drink to calm this inner discontentment that had developed within me... and that discontentment was just there, for no knowable reason... a hole in my psyche, or soul, if you will. I remember that drink, and many, many more after that. Recalling that drink is part of my step one experience. The draw to the bottle and drinking for no good reason, even when I told myself I wouldn't, is another part of my step one experience.
I wasn't really a binge drinker or black out drinker. I drank everyday.
Good Stuff!
Mark