I knew I was an alcoholic when I tried to stop drinking and couldn't do it. I drank alone at home and never had the legal problems of some or losing anything huge (not counting losing the respect of my kids). My bottom was mostly mental.
As to recovery being progressive... I've never thought of it that way so can't address that issue. All I know for sure is that labels don't matter much. Alcoholic/heavy drinker/problem drinker - it doesn't matter much cause we all need support and encouragement from time to time.