hey, mentally, i am so very glad you posted. sometimes we just curl up and don't tell anyone, and we're surrounded by shame and sadness. you just come here 20 times a day if you want. we're cyber, but we're strong. and we love you.
please listen to transform's and noday's wise words - they know of what they speak.
and do everything in your power to:
not think of him
not communicated with him
barricard your threshhold (figuratively speaking)
line up as much real-person support as possible
don't feel for one second you're burdening anyone: what a joy and tremendous honor to be asked to help usher in a new and beautiful life!! (seriously)
don't forget to make that call. and let us know what's goin on.
peace