four812

so at the end of the day we review our activities of this day. I've been up, down, anxious, weird, ok, sleepy, happy, up, and content. right now i am content.

all of this is better than what i'd be if i had used yesterday or today.

I need to keep facing what is in front of me right now. keep staying in today.

i've enjoyed the posts i've read here tonight and appreciate this website. we're all good people. good people getting better.

OK...it's time for me to wind down and continue to retrain myself to sleep in my bed; to sleep at night. to let go of the day and go to sleep without TV and let go of the day and rest.

i'm very glad that i stayed clean again today. it wasn't hard to do that today again. I had no urges. I was up and down, anxious and comfortable, worried and hopeful: that was all i had to deal with. I didn't have to deal with the obsession to use today. I went to 2 meetings, called my sponsor, worked, had 'date night' with my daughter, and prayed a couple times, and listened to some nice music, i wrote a little bit and thought of some nice childhood memories thanks to facebook.

I am creating my life instead of just tolerating things. I am facing my fears instead of running to the dope man. I am taking proactive steps to change my life. I am being conscious of keeping an open mind.

I am beginning to believe, more and more, that I can finally stop relapsing. beginning to believe that i can finally stay clean. beginning to believe that i can finally begin the life of my dreams. my dream of being my authentic, self actualized self.

good night universe. good night great light of the spirit. may i let the light own me in my sleep and wake up and live in the light all day tomorrow.