I think the Alcoholic has a need for playing victim. It allows them to drink without remorse, common sense, or caution.
He has to be entrenched in that sense that he was done wrong. My exA would/does do this ALL the time. He will quit jobs, cry about how he has nothing.
He will neglect to show up for happy family functions, drink and cry that he has no one.
He will burn bridges with friends, co workers, people who are trying to support him because his brain is mush, then he will cry that no one is on his side.
All these things end up being what I call his luge track.
He cannot just live the way he does, drink the way he does, blame shift the way he does and OWN it, so he simply HAS to create a persecuted scenario in his messy little mind.
This way he can sit at the bar, on the couch, in the garage or wherever the heck he ends up and tear into his beer about how it is all so unfair, and that gives him license, in his mind to live this way for another...month, year, decade...
As far as you feeling GUILTY about it...I have been there, and it is a freaking twist of the mind isn't it?
You find yourself energetically going to his aid. It is a habit, a pattern. And make NO mistake addicts are like 4 year old children and they are testing that and counting on that empathy from you. They need it. Outside sympathy enforces that inner lie they live.
Mine started going elsewhere for that YEARS ago, and he continues to g o to his greener sympathy pastures everyday.
Mine has not even called about his child, does weird crap constantly, quit his job, etc...and posts onto facebook these self pitiful posts about how he is missing out on his baby boy growing up.
It is all designed to allow his mind and whatever conscience he has left to give him the OK to continue drinking.
Dont take the bait.
I always said to my A,"why dont you let the sh*t that you just threw into that fan hit your face for once, so you will learn not to do it again.."