Kicking them while their down, codepenendancy, and confirmation
Well, what an interesting couple of days that have left me confirmed in what I know is true, but trying to keep my codependant self from rescuing or feeling the need to rescue. My AH got ticked off on Friday and Quit one of his jobs with a good friend of ours - for very stupid stupid reasons. Now I am on maternity leave, still making some money due std insurance and our sick leave plan....but July/August before I go back to teach are going to be tight and he knows this. Of course this didn't cross his mind when he was angry. Anyway, so I suggested to him he apologize and ask our friend to reconsider. He send an "apology" that was more like a passive aggressive slam than apology, saw our friend Sat. and thought everything was fine. Well, not the case. So I am very angry about him quitting like that - it is just such typical behavior or him to belive that he can say whatever and then "apologize" in his non-apologetic way and expect the other person to say ok. Wow...was this like a realization....this is exactly what I put up with, only our friend did not. So this morning he is angry because he is not working and I am "not supporting" him. And he is right...I do not support this decision - it was selfish and wrong. Then he won't admit that he quit his job....which he specifically told me he did. THat went on a while. Then he attackes me......I sit on my a$$ all day, I'm a B, I'm well a whole list of ridiculous thing. Now mind you I'm on bedrest and have been in teh hospital and am delivery our baby next week, but he could careless. Now I could keep complaining, but here is my struggle. This pattern w/ people including me is so obvious. He is now on the bed sleeping, pouting AND WHY IS IT....I feel like I kicked him when he was down??? I would never allow myself to act to selfishly or meanly.....and then there is a part of me that feels sorry for him....are you kidding me????????????????? I am not giving in to these feelings but they are there........will he ever really look at himself for who he is and what he does or forever will everything always be the toher persons fault, and their mistake.....his behavior is very king-baby and very grandiose sense of entitlement.....and it is irritating as hell......and yet....I am feeliny sorry for him....this is where there is something seriously wrong with ME!!