am I happy? sometimes i am and sometimes when I am uncomfortable I think I am not happy.
i'll tell you what...i have been having this sense of contentment with pain because like I know that staying sober in this pain is better than living in the pain of addiction. the lonliness of addiction. the self hate and hoplessness of my addiction.
as far as right now i am feeling very happy. Listening to one of our members (steamvessel) on my IPOD and simply happy. happy with actions i've been taking. more and more friends at the alano club, joining a "recovery" softball team, and reading a childrens book this thursday to my daughters elementary class.
I'm going with the ups and downs of early recovery. I'm accepting them without as much attachment to how i feel. (although it's hard to not be attached to feeling good). I'm beginning to define my life in this early part of my new start in recovery.